After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize