I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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