Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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