Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
