She said her name was "party"
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she pinky promised me she was 18
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
