Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
