laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize