Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
