Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Can you bring me the toilet please
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
