yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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