If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
