Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
