Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just pee around me
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize