People with herpes should wear stickers.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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