LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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