One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
