your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
