I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
