is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
