i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
