It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize