It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
