Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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