so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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