Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have already put on my inside pants.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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