at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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