I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Randomize
