Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
