You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
