The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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