Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
