Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
