SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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