love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
the condom got lost in my hair
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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