I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
