I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
