I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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