My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
