i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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