someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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