I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
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