This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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