she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
