put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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