Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
