I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
