I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
