i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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