He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
