i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
