Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
