I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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