Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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