playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
