i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
