woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
