My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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